Menopause

Cecilia Granger
Apr 19
5 min read

Patient Story

My Menopause Story: What Surprised Me Most About Perimenopause

Susan describes her experience with perimenopause,from irregular periods to memory loss.

Perimenopause, the years leading up to menopause, can bring many changes in the body. Susan was surprised by her experience with perimenopause, including how early her symptoms began and how long they lasted. Now 59, she has lived with menopause-related symptoms for more than 20 years. Hormone therapy and antidepressants have helped her find relief.

In this edited interview, Susan shares how she has adapted to this phase of life with support from her family, friends, and health care team.

ACOG: When did perimenopause start for you?

Susan: It started with irregular periods when I was about 38. This was earlier than most people I knew. I later found out that my aunt began her menopause journey in her late 30s, and my mom in her early 40s.

My periods came more often and were heavier than usual. This went on for more than a decade until I had my last period at 49. I also experienced hot flashes in the early years of perimenopause.

Another physical symptom has been irritation in my vaginal area. My vulva has become extremely dry, irritated, and sensitive to soaps and fragrances. (This is a condition called genitourinary syndrome of menopause.) Vaginal dryness makes sex very painful, although things are better now that I treat it with a vaginal cream.

[Experiencing Vaginal Dryness? Here’s What You Need to Know.]

ACOG: Did you have any other menopausal symptoms?

Susan: For me, the physical symptoms were just the beginning. The emotional symptoms have been hard too.

I have had occasional depression throughout my life. These episodes would usually last about 18 months, and counseling and medication would always help me get through them. But since reaching menopause, I have noticed the feelings of depression – sadness, lack of interest in things I used to enjoy – are heavier. Medication doesn’t work for me like it used to. My interest in sex has waned as well, I believe due to both the depression and the vaginal irritation.

I also have problems with my memory. Memory loss is a daily, noticeable thing for me. I’m slowly losing the capacity to remember things, like scheduled phone calls. It even affected my ability to function at work. It’s scary, losing the ability to do something that used to come so easily. I mostly forget little things, but all those little things add up. What if I miss something big?

Everything about this experience surprised me. I want more women to know what menopause is like, to make their journeys a little easier.

Susan, 59 | Maryland

ACOG: What treatments have helped you?

Susan: My psychologist and psychiatrist continue to prescribe antidepressants to help manage my depression as well as late-onset attention deficit disorder (ADD). I had to try five or six different medications to find one that would work without unpleasant side effects. It was very frustrating.

Exercise helps ease my depression as well as the pain from fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition that has been a constant companion since my mid-40s. Every morning I do exercises for my neck, back, hips, and knees. Without them I can easily have a spasm or just feel worse. I also find that weekly lifting, hiking, biking, or racket sports really lifts my mood, so I fit that in when I can.

My ob-gyn has been my go-to for all my other symptoms. Years ago, I started taking daily low-dose combined hormone therapy to help with my irregular periods and hot flashes. I no longer have those symptoms now that I am past menopause, but I still take hormone therapy because it helps with my mood. And I use an estrogen cream to ease the vaginal dryness and irritation.

As for my memory loss, it’s all about coping habits. I have to write everything down, then reread my notes to remember. It’s time-consuming and exhausting. You can’t be in the moment because you’re trying to capture everything for later.

ACOG: How else have you found support?

Susan: My friend group is 100 percent supportive of each other. We often talk about what it’s like getting older – we share, we laugh, and sometimes we cry.

My husband has always been kind and patient. My kids, who are young adults, tell me not to worry about all the memory stuff. So that means either they truly don’t notice my forgetfulness, they’re being kind, or they don’t want to believe it could be anything worse. I think the chronic pain from my fibromyalgia has a bigger effect on my family than the menopause symptoms.

So for now I’m coping fairly well. I wouldn’t be here without all these people.

ACOG: What else would you share about perimenopause and menopause?

Susan: Honestly, everything about this experience surprised me. Perimenopause started earlier and lasted longer than I expected – and now I’m postmenopausal, about 10 years after my last period. It’s been more than 20 years of dealing with one symptom or another, often several at once.

Menopause is hard, but it’s also natural. Every woman goes through it. I wish our culture was more open to talking about menopause and the experience of aging. Then it wouldn’t be such a big deal or have a negative connotation.

I want more women to know what menopause is like, to make their journeys a little easier.

Order Now: New Book on Menopause

More menopause information from ACOG is available in Menopause: What Your Ob-Gyn Wants You to Know.

Published: March 2024

Last reviewed: February 2024

Topics

MenopauseHealthy AgingMenstrual Health

This information is designed as an educational aid for the public. It offers current information and opinions related to women's health. It is not intended as a statement of the standard of care. It does not explain all of the proper treatments or methods of care. It is not a substitute for the advice of a physician. Read ACOG’s complete disclaimer.